To be published before my death.
The observations of Naturalblood, dealing with animal, plantal and spiritual transformations in the airy vapours of a primordial forest, a heaving up of vegetation with its horrible affinity with human passions.
Extracts from the manuscript:
you would have my body, and make my breasts firm and my hair black and
then you will make the birds to fly, and stirring their wings, as
enough from the rushing noise, they will bend upwards, and with the
the feathers we will be pressed towards each other, supported on the
air by pillars of blood-coloured marble, and vines of gold above beds
rosemary and lavender.
'"If you would have my body, and make my breasts full and my skin firm and porcelain white, then you will have magnificence in the first ages as in later times, as from old temples and broken amphitheatres half buried in the earth, and figments of towers and subterranean vaults will support your airy body, dressed in fine light damasks, and confess the difference between an old devotee and a young beauty.
"And if you would restore me to youth, smooth and fine-textured, and ripe, and hot and moist, then you will be studded with buds and leaves and blossoms, and all creatures will breathe the pleasing fragrance of a perpetual spring, and the breezes of the morning will wind their courses and degrees, enfolding the fiery sun and the watery moon, caressing most intimately between mouth and thigh that spongy excrescence called a nipple."
With simple water I swallowed my dose of green tea. The fruit of the pod is like that of a bean, and though my fits of fainting or anxiety ceased upon rest or breathing the vapour of vinegar, the pulp of the fruit (abating thirst and correcting purification), which is spread on a sort of bread or rusk disordered my bowels and occasioned the contents to turn pasty. Weak and tender as I was, I required repeat purges and a total absence of farinaceous foods. Disagreeable symptoms previously discharged in a living state and subject to spectral illusions, I was to be fed with bread victuals, and a wet-nurse to assist in suckling who, in consequence of getting rest, resembled many gold coloured discous flowers, in umbel-like clusters. She has a good nose for smelling, being reckoned a very subtle creature. "He will feed on roots, herbs, or what-not, to fill his belly", said she, mockingly reflecting upon Noah and the curse of Cain. I sometimes perceived her motion as a creeping under the skin. The appellation of facial tumours was derived from mucur, mouldy. When her eyes are shut, the external edges meet, and the eyelashes, preserved at a small distance from each other, are somewhat transparent, covered with small shining crystals.
It was a curious
instance that while her underthings were brilliantly white, the limbs
delicately turned and speckled, as, when she was half immersed in a
engulfing bosom, to render her almost imperceptible. Of this
was so conscious, that whenever she found herself in want of a man she
her skirt over her head, and there continued motionless. She owed her
to this stratagem. Thus concealed she seized upon and devoured all the
kinds of men who incautiously approached her. She acknowledged that in
dreams she might unconsciously have assumed the existence
forces according to some mathematical function, though she did not deny
transient combination of simple ideas which have but a short existence
anywhere, but in the minds of women. She complained that, whilst in
had been frequently aroused by the strange liberties taken with her
such occasions she has been known to entwine herself round the legs of
Englishman. I was anxious to get her rescued. I questioned
her upon the
subject; I said, ‘Would you like me to attend you when you
"Oh no!” she cried. She was a first-rate girl.
brought to a woman, at different times, in the dark, different
frequently the same ones, which she could not discover in the dark. She
flushed in the face, had the sensations of tingling, resembling slight
shocks running down her thighs; or perhaps it was blood trickling down
coagulating on the floor.
But she was glad when any of her faculties was restored to her, and
would immediately perambulate the room in search of a place suitable to
purpose. She threw herself into singular postures by holding only with
feet, or, in a
momentary shock of paralysis,
her full length on a low bed. Each time she placed herself, as if she
wished to imitate the infinite glorious perfections of God. I desired
accurately to point out a remedy. She threw around her body a girdle of
which bound it so firmly that she ever afterwards attained
to the highest cunning.
Of the precise nature of a woman’s connection with other males it is a matter of doubt whether they have ever been thoroughly understood, or even whether rape is possible in a woman of fair size and strength. Whenever she puts out, one or two men are apt to immediately locate themselves upon her, feeding upon the delicate petals, and thus destroying all the beauty of her blossoming life. A female who had hysteria and who at last died at twenty years of age, was frequently disturbed upon any particular bed and was apt to forsake it and take up her abode in other quarters where she could remain unmolested. I, accordingly, moulded a whole figure from the clay and suspended it above her bed, to swing backwards and forth, the lower edge brushing slightly against her thighs. I gathered her, in the bight sunshine, flying up and down around her person, and contributed to, either mediately or immediately, and hastened, the maturity of worms.
I found a grave in the womb, and the remains of a body in the nearest soft earth. Here I lay, uncoffined and unclaimed by mourning spirits. A sudden cry of pain passed away and was heard no more, and I imagined that among the voices of the forest there was one that whispered within: feel no more. And in the darkness which enshrouded its mouldering tenant I imagined youthful limbs and features of a boy who never mourned the feebleness of aged men; who never looked back to that parting without regret or hung brooding over the newly created world. Now keep in the deep, I said to myself, and timorous creatures shall safe arrive above; and I put under my tongue a sweet morsel of plant, and gave myself the gift of prophesy. I muffed up and covered myself with a garment made of wild hemp and willow bark. And in some remote period, naked to the eye in daytime, the approaching Earth will assume a crescent form and be bright enough to cast a shadow at night. Some rare bodies, pressing against the earth, move upward to the great body of the universe, and with great expansions penetrate into empty spaces. Particles of light attracted from the atmospheric air will lead us back to secret nostrums, and the perpetrators of darkness cannot brook the light. And so the local union between leaf and stem, unprepared by art, is held fit, in its own nature. The eyes dazzle; and crackings heard under children’s beds pass through the nerves down to the clay to be carried off by the furrows. A little greater depth still and we apply a remedy; we shall strongly resist the semi-fluid organism sometimes covered with strong scurf, and with very matted roots.
"I am Meself." said he, "we
away the Sabbath with the dead and the living, that we might exercise
authority and dominion over all, as we will at the last day. Let them
our three-toed, hairy, hind legs; ears that are rounded, lined with
fore-teeth upper eight, two middle ones sharper; lower long and
pointed. We are
beautifully red by the sides of our head and body; white at our
feet dark brown; margin of the orbits black; naked underneath, and a
a curved bone."
Meself stood at three points of the compass from the direction of the wind, and bent over me. I fell to my knees and cried, "Sir, it is not the pain. It is life!"
"Naturalblood, make a wish, which is properly the desire of a man. Or lay still, for I should not wish you to a fairer death."
I imagined a weight drawn by a thousand weights, equal in gravity to one another; sometimes these weights appear in my dreams, when the spirit leaves the body. But I saw no soul before me, or the image of a thing remembered or imagined. I made a wish beyond the nebulous regions, where the body is born and waxes old in time, and he was gone.
sensation for some time observed; that, composing myself I could die or
when I pleased, and by an effort, I could come to life again. I could
incredible mischief, and be whirled into infamy, with a supply of
worse in the lying in; some titillation from the genitals up
into the abdomen, giving scope
expression of delusions and dreams of sin, merging in a sea of natural
By apparent death, I can become so entirely exhausted that
the system suspends all outward, or manifest, animation. I assume the
appearance of death that I may make a final and utmost attempt to save
from impending destruction, enabling me to devote all my remaining
combat some inward foe. I can compose
myself on my back, and lay
in a still posture for some time, and no one can find my pulse, by the
exact and nice touch; no one, by the nicest scrutiny, can discover the
symptom of life within me. A young woman who is thought to
resemble me I
designed to personate myself in a dead world. Her cheek blushed, as
were alive; and she was desirous of doing all the things in a world
sorrow never comes, or comes imperfectly.
eyes were open, yet she was quite in the dark. She tied a rope
around her neck, and shaking herself, remained motionless.
I am thankful - I am no worse this season.
The bodies of babes are marked with figures of things, it confounds the natural order; they stamp with their hind feet and erect their hair, and keep the beaten path until they are driven of the devil. Some wander wide, or far and near, and mothers draw away estranged affections of tenderness, and contrive for themselves an artificial memory called the Soul of the World, suckle empty forms and phantoms, and assume somewhat of their nature, and become of a peculiar kind. Into chaos heat is infused, disseminated, and diffused through the whole mass of the world into one great, perfect and vital body; and into many starting holes a creature is driven, that it may find some shelter, to increase and produce its like, which is said to be come to its animation when the mother is quick with child. Generation of a kind is kindled in the bowels of the earth; and being buried in the ground it will burst out in flames and cause the earth to tremble, a rattling noise in the lowest regions of the air, which seem to pass through arches, and brought as near Nature as possible. In the whole scene of things there is none that has been perfumed with a most odiferous scent than a babe or a changeling, distracted, and wholly evacuated by death. In the mother womb is the field of their birth, born by incision, and violently cut from the stalk; and when the Earth passes through its orbit the viviparous animals of the world, unweaned from the hub, seem to rise higher and become more perfect than all the beasts of the field. But one, induced by the cognition of an immaterial essence, found life within, and near the wilderness, arising from the instinct of her form, she brought forth her young alive; which being wrapped up in thin skins, burst on the seventh day, and leapt like serpents, and crawled: hooked, hollow, and transparent. They gnawed out the belly of the dam, and all the names of things unknown before. They sucked nourishment out of her thighs and breast, and preyed upon body and estate. She was darkened for an instant; and with heavy and duskish light, shone with borrowed beams that traversed the body of a man, received by illumination, and took for fiery comet. Her belly, growing big, and so near her time, received into her body the western wind, which forced the woman to birth the fragrant infant, who crept along to her side lamenting its imperfections. Both its hands were beaten and worn by time, and it did not cease from craving the benefices of living beings endowed with the properties of natural bodies. Its eyes were as a bright scarlet colour, they saw orbs steered by the spirit; and light, receding into darkness and cold, came never out to touch the unfortunate creature. All operations in the abyss increased the creature’s acquaintance with some understanding of the properties of life. It died uncovered, and a dog licked its sores and fell down, and I saw the spirits of both appear under a deep water.
©2019 Jason Potter